I have embarked into the untamed wilds of freelance internet writing. I have dipped a toe in the inky void, stolen a glance into the shadowy labyrinth, and other semi-connected metaphors that suggest menace and mystery. I have sipped from the cup… and found it lame. The term “sellout” is far too gracious, but it is applicable. Not only is it so boring I may resort to selling my bone marrow just for a change of pace, it pays a rate that I don’t know enough derogatory to fully explain.
Basically it sucks. But it’s writing so it’s still better than anything else I could be doing. Except possibly coaching track. All the other good stuff I’d choose is most definitely writing related. Hopefully this is just a stopgap until I can find a better writer job. Though if I sat on a street corner scrawling signs on cardboard for homeless people in exchange for the less moldy half of the unfinished sandwich they just found it would run a very real risk of being better than this.
I complain because it amuses me and most likely Ferret and quite possibly other people. I am genuinely fortunate to have found anything like this and I will squeeze every drop of water possible from this stone to avoid slipping back down the slope. And I think I’ve used up my entire metaphor quota for the week in mostly non-continuous strings of ideas so I will move on now.
Cheez-Its and strawberries are, at this moment, the most delicious thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. Except that one thing that one time. Since I gave up metaphors I have use hyperbole now.
Instead of music today I’m going to do movie trailers. Because there are some amazing movies that I want everyone else to hate waiting for with me.
This one is extremely imminent and if it is half as awesome as the trailers make it look, it will blow your mind straight out the back of your head. So see it with stadium seating or the minds of the people in front of you will get all up in your popcorn and that’s just no good. Behold, Rocky and Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots all rolled in to one, plus Wolverine:
Real Steel October 7, 2011
Here’s another not too far off. If you didn’t like 300 or Clash of the Titans, you probably won’t like this one. If you liked either you should check this out. If you liked them both and thought they both could have done with little more of the other, then you may send your gifts of gratitude directly to me for showing you this:
Immortals November 11, 2011
This franchise has had its ups and downs, and then down a little more. But I’ve loved it ever since I wandered into the first movie and saw everything I’ve ever wanted from a vampire action movie. Given it’s a pretty narrow genre, but you put Kate Beckinsale in that outfit and it could be a three hour documentary about a Welsh hermit who makes sculptures out of stale baguettes and I’d still watch it. Given I’d be paying far more attention to whatever highly contrive component allowed for Kate to be a part of the feature, but I wouldn’t ask too many questions:
Underworld: Awakening January 20, 2012
And last but about six parsecs away from least, we have what is for me the most anticipated franchise reboot since Batman Begins. There isn’t really much to say about it. Just watch the trailer and feel the love:
The Amazing Spider-Man July 3, 2012
In case you don’t follow College Humor sketches or don’t understand why the Spider-Man reboot is both essential and hilarious, check this out.
As is the case with most Mondays, choosing a Comic of the Day was tough. Questionable Content made a fierce bid and since this is the first time they’ve done so since I started being all competitive about it, I put up the link anyway. But Least I Could Do is the genuine winner because QC’s joke is based on knowing the comic and LICD is just standalone hilarious. It’s also quite dirty and a touch blasphemous, so beware.
I’m off to rest my poor brain so another day of writing, hopefully with even more writing in it, can begin tomorrow. Toodles.
50 Pages of Berserk Fiction from the: 